We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
