ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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