he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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