id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just puked most of my soul out..
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