you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
