when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
