I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
