Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
