Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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