My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So much rum. So many feels.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
