IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I party with great urgency now.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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