I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
