So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize