You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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