Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
