Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
