So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
