i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
