I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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