Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
