try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
