Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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