well most of my day revolves around power hour
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
