Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
