only you would photoshop your dick
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
