Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
