im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
