so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
