And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
