white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
