One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We left the knife in your bed.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
