Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
