i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
