another moral hangover. fuck.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
