Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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