Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
