I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
