I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
