I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
