I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
