nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
