I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Damn victory sex feels great
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
