hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
