i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
