I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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