Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
