there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
