When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
