New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
