her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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