I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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