I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
