Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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