Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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