Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
