I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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