Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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