That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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