I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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