then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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